Nick Cannon goes “Ncredibly Crazy” with the release of his first YouTube vlog.
After welcoming his son Golden and quitting his “America’s Got Talent” hosting gig, the multifaceted star goes full stream of consciousness, speaking about everything from his career change and President Donald Trump to the Nicki Minaj and Remy Ma feud.
“Motherfucker done went from NBC to the internet,” he tells himself. “That don’t seem like an upwardly mobile move. I thought you were a businessman.”
Continuing that theme, Nick announces the title of his new mixtape. “They called me crazy because I turned down millions and millions and millions…of dollars,” he says to himself. “I am moving on to bigger and better things like my mixtape. That didn’t really sound like that was better than millions and millions of dollars. Yeah, ni**a, you gon’ have to rethink that. You gon’ leave a No. 1 show on television to promote a mixtape? You is crazy. The mixtape gon’ be fire. Model Music is coming, bitches, and it’s gon’ be hot. It’s gon’ make every woman feel like a supermodel.”
After dissing President Trump (“F**k Trump and his first address”), Nick goes on to discuss Nicki Minaj and Remy Ma. Celebrating “shETHER,” Cannon consoles a G-string-wearing muppet that’s supposed to be Minaj. “Y’all know I love Nicki Minaj,” he says. “I love her to death. If you really want to ask me the true, true shit, I think Nicki wins just because she’s just rich and shit. I don’t care if her ass dropped or not. I’ll help you get it back together.”
Hugging and rubbing the muppet, he adds: “You still rich. That’s all that matters. Shoot. I done turned down millions of dollars so I’ma come stay with you. Okay?”
Watch the full vlog and read highlights from his rants below.
On race: “Shoutout to my Mexicans. Just so y’all know, I can make Mexican jokes ’cause my grandmama’s Mexican. Lo siento, ni**as. That’s why I say, I offend everyone equally. I talk shit about white people, talk shit about Mexicans, talk shit about Asians, talk shit about Eurasians. Yes, I’m talking about all you motherfuckers.”
On Trump: “Fuck Trump and his first address…He was talking a whole bunch of bullshit at his first address. He said he can’t fix every problem. Duh! You ain’t fix one [expletive] problem. You’ve been creating problems. You too worried about making problems and causing problems than [expletive] fixing problems.”
On inner-city violence: “There’s shootings all over the country in disenfranchised places because it’s a systemic problem. Y’all keep us in this place, quarantined, and y’all want us to kill each other. Y’all feeding us poison, all that bullshit. Fuck you, Trump.”
On sanity: “People think I’m crazy. They done had reports that I had mental issues. Tell us some shit we don’t know. Ni**a, I was dressing in drag at 17. I’ve been crazy. They called me crazy because I turned down millions and millions and millions…of dollars. I am moving on to bigger and better things like my mixtape. That didn’t really sound like that was better than millions and millions of dollars. Yeah, ni**a, you gon’ have to rethink that. You gon’ leave a No. 1 show on television to promote a mixtape? You is crazy. The mixtape gon’ be fire. Model Music is coming, bitches, and it’s gon’ be hot. It’s gon’ make every woman feel like a supermodel. But you know what, to be brilliant, to be a genius, to change the world, you have to be crazy. You know who else is crazy? Albert Einstein, Buddha? Crazy as hell. Gandhi? Crazy than a motherfucker. Martin Luther King Jr.? Crazy as fuck.”
On Remy Ma: “Remy Ma went crazy. She even put my name in that motherfucker…Remy, that’s the only bar that I think was some bullshit. Because it’s my name, I appreciate the shoutout but you know how many old, street, Facebook rap-ass ni**as done used that bar? ‘Hit Nick with the Cannon. Carey like Mariah. Two twins Cannons.’ I’m the ni**a with the name…Them bars is old…But everything else was hot…Nah, that shit was still hot. ‘Shoot Nick with the Cannon! Yo, Miley, what’s good?’ I should fuck Miley Cyrus. Now, you know Nicki Minaj can’t say shit to Remy Ma. You know why? Remy Ma ain’t got shit to lose. Remy Ma done went to jail for shooting bitches. Remy Ma shot a bitch in the knee. How you shoot a bitch kneecap off? And did nine years for that shit? Remy don’t give a fuck. She ain’t trying to be cute out here. Y’all don’t want it with Remy. And Papoose will come punch your ass over Remy’s shoulder. Remy did ‘Wild N’ Out’ and Papoose was standing there like, ‘I’ll beat any ni**a ass who says shit about Remy. The ‘Wild Style’ battle turned into a compliment battle about Remy. ‘Remy, you’re so beautiful / Thanks for coming on the show / We ain’t gonna say shit to you because Papoose gon’ whoop a ni**a ass for sho!'”